Leaping from Tradition to Today
The leap day tradition of women proposing marriage to men has its roots in women’s survival.
Women proposing marriage to men on February 29 can be traced back to fifth-century Ireland, when Saint Brigid of Kildare, known as the mother saint of Ireland, negotiated with Saint Patrick for the opportunity to give women a measure of control over their choice of a husband.
In many European countries, it was illegal—at least until the 18th century—for a woman to propose marriage to a man. However, because February 29 had been considered a day “outside the law,” the custom became accepted.
Also, as the Catholic Church forbade marriage during Lent, this uncommon proposal practice, also known as Bachelor’s Day and Ladies’ Privilege, was seen as a way to hurry things along with reluctant bachelors.
“Certainly, seen through the lens of today, a woman proposing to a man on February 29 could be viewed in a lighthearted way,” said Margaret Betz, assistant teaching professor of philosophy and member of the gender studies faculty in the Rutgers University–Camden College of Arts and Sciences.
“But the patriarchy was so normalized it was almost inconceivable that a woman could make a choice impacting the outcome of her life. Yet, Saint Brigid’s idea of letting women propose allowed them some agency.”
Marriage through the ages has, for the better, evolved to become a celebration of diverse and openhearted choice, but once upon a time, and a time not that long ago, heteronormative marriage for women was often a lifeline. Who doesn’t love a Jane Austen novel that ends with a marriage celebrating romantic love? Yet what is it that Austen was really writing about? It can be argued she was writing about women’s very survival. Mr. Darcy is Elizabeth Bennet’s lifesaver.
History shows countless marriages were made by necessity because women had very limited means of support. The entrenched Western custom of primogeniture meant that all family wealth was inherited solely by the firstborn legitimate male child, leaving spinster women facing economically uncertain futures.
Staying with 19th-century literature for a moment, the Brontë sisters, Emily, Anne, and Charlotte, whose profligate brother Branwell was slated to inherit the family’s meager wealth were forced, as unmarried but educated women, into unhappy work as governesses—teaching the children of wealthy parents in private households.
Women who proposed marriage to men on February 29 brought a microscopic amount of control and agency into their lives. Once every four years, women in Ireland, England, Scotland, Germany, some Scandinavian countries, and, latterly, America, embraced this choice. Today, the practice is largely a reminder of the stranglehold of the patriarchy, but it did, at one time, serve a purpose for the good of women.
“It was a long time before the likes of Mary Wollstonecraft appeared,” Betz said. Wollstonecraft is noted for writing A Vindication of the Rights of Woman in 1792, in which she argues that women are not naturally inferior to men. Betz added that Saint Brigid seems to be an early part of the cross-disciplinary story of women who, like Wollstonecraft, changed the world.
Brigid was a historically real woman, but she is also the inheritor of the Celtic mantle of the goddess and Pagan poetess Briget, thus, Saint Brigid has been ascribed many talents. She is acknowledged as the protector of the hearth flame; she is the patron saint of dairy cattle, healing, and learning; she could turn muddy water into beer; fought against forced marriage; and is celebrated for cracking open the door to romantic love for women with the hope of a happy life.
Saint Brigid, who can also be known as Bree, Brigant, Brighid, Bridget, Bride, and Bridey, is so revered in Ireland that last year, she was honored with a national holiday occurring on her feast day of February 1, the only woman in Irish history to be so acclaimed.
And as the calendar page turns to March 1, the beginning of Women’s History Month, let Saint Brigid stand in sisterhood with the trailblazers that followed—those pioneers who through words and deeds created, and continue to create, a freer future for women.
The Church That Inspired the Wedding Cake
Saint Brigid is also connected, by name, to Saint Bride’s church on Fleet Street in London. Its steeple is known as the inspiration for the shape of modern wedding cakes.
After the Great Fire of London in 1666, St Bride’s was rebuilt in 1675 by Sir Christopher Wren. The steeple was completed 28 years later in 1703.
Legend has it that in the 1700s, a baker living nearby on Ludgate Hill wanted to make an impressive wedding cake for his fiancée. His eyes fell upon the steeple of St. Bride’s, and he was inspired to create the first tiered wedding cake.
Previously, wedding cakes were more in the shape of a pie than a tiered cake. Learn more about Saint Bride’s here.
Design: Douglas Shelton